Do wolves photograph babies?

When I started as a photographer in my twenties I was a bit of a wandering lone wolf. My wife says I was a lost puppy, but.. I like my version better. The point is, I was a travel photographer on the road for weeks at a time. I photographed cities, not people. I was paid to bring back images of city skylines and iconic travel destinations. My only mandate from the home office: avoid people in your pictures.

Travel by myself to awesome destinations...check.
Take photos for a living...Check.
Avoid people...That’s a big fat checkaroo!

Yup, like I said, lone wolf, baby! And then: speak of the devil, there was a baby. Two of them to be exact. Nothing slows your roll and turns your world upside down quite like a baby (or in my case two). The lone wolf was concerned.

I traded my camera bag for a diaper bag and my boarding passes for a season pass to the zoo.

I traded my camera bag for a diaper bag and my boarding passes for a season pass to the zoo.
Faster than I could say “What the?” I went from being a globe-trotting photographer to a stay-at-home dad. The first few days were admittedly ugly. I didn’t know how to change diapers, how to warm bottles and I had no idea why the baby kept crying. Yup, ugly.

In a few short weeks I had completely lost myself and my mind. The lack of sleep, the constant crying and housebound isolation was completely kicking my butt and I was desperate. The lone wolf was running scared. I found myself one morning hiding in the laundry room desperately clutching the one thing that made me feel like me; my camera.

In the darkness of the laundry room I pulled the film advance lever on my camera, then clicked the shutter and repeated again and again. In between the swish of the lever and the click of the shutter I could hear crying. Swish, click, whaaaaaaaa!!! Swish click whaaaaaaa!!! Swish…. and then it clicked. I was a father AND I was a photographer. I didn’t have to stop being one because I was the other.

I didn’t give anything up, I added something. That something was a small bundle of amazing that put me on another path both in my life and in my art.

I’ve spent the last 16 years chasing the loves of my life around with a camera. I see children in a whole new light. The way I’m pretty sure that only a parent can. I started to see the magical way they viewed the world. The way they created whole new universes with a pile of building blocks. The way they took pleasure in simple things like a rubber band or a ladybug. The way they loved unconditionally with all their hearts.

It may sound cliche... (heck it is a cliche, but it’s one for a reason). My children changed me. The lone wolf (or lost puppy) is gone and I don’t really miss him. His world was lonely and dark. My world now is bright and my eyes are wide open. My children have given me an amazing life full of joy and beauty and the ability to recognize that beauty whenever, and wherever I see it.

Thanks to my children I see beauty in everything. Thanks to my camera I get to capture that beauty forever. Thanks to my clients, capturing that beauty is just another wonderful day at the office.

Terra, Danae and Darren I thank you for opening my eyes and for being my world,

Dad

Daniel Troutman
daniel@troutmanphoto.com
Albany, OR

Daniel Troutman, an internationally published photographer, started his career in 1999. He began as a staff travel photographer, and now runs a retail studio in Albany, Oregon. His images have been published by some of the largest agencies in the world, including Newsweek, VH1 Music Television, The Food Network and Best Western Hotels.